"Do you believe in love at first sight -- or should I walk by again?"
Maybe you haven't heard this line, but if you're female, you've probably been subjected to a pick-up line (or five) during your lifetime.
The icebreaker is a curious phenomenon; if executed poorly or by the wrong person, embarrassment may ensue. For example, I'd hate to be the guy who said: "If you were a nose, I'd pick you to be mine."
Not exactly a flattering way of telling a woman she's beautiful -- and certainly a no-no when it comes to hoping to share a mattress for the night. But when flawlessly executed, a proper pick-up line can melt the resolve of even the most resistant of potential bunkmates.
"I was at a club with my girlfriends last week to dance and have a few drinks, and the furthest thing from my mind was going home with someone," says Dawn, 22, an attractive brunette with a resemblance to actress Anne Hathaway.
"But then Bob came over. He was kind of cute, but what really got me was his opening line. There was enough of a twist to amuse me, so I let him buy me a drink. He turned out to be a pretty funny guy, and then one thing led to another."
Bob's opener: "Excuse me -- my friend over there is a little embarrassed. She'd like your phone number. She wants to know where she can get a hold of me in the morning."
Laughter is not only the best medicine, but the best aphrodisiac for getting someone into the sack. If you eventually want to tickle something else, start by tickling the funny bone.
"When I met Gary, he was the quiet one in a pack of friends trying to impress me and my girlfriends," 27-year-old Honey recalls. "And they were coming up with the lamest lines you could think of. We were all rolling our eyes, hoping these losers would find some other victims to pick on. "But then Gary tapped me on the shoulder and said, 'what has 142 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? “My zipper.”
"It was so unexpected and cartoonish that I nearly shot Kahlúa out of my nose. And I'm embarrassed to say, I looked... and noticed he was pretty well endowed.
"As we talked further, he kept me laughing and I began noticing some attractive things about him, like his baby blue eyes. Before I knew it, I was heading back to his place."
Pick-up lines are not only used on women. I remember years ago when an attractive blonde named Diane came up to me and said, "I have a headache. Let's go back to your place."
It worked -- but I am a walking hormone. These days, the pick-up line may also involve visual aids. When words simply aren't enough, people -- OK, mainly guys -- use their bodies to deliver their can't-miss message.
"I was standing at the bar, scoping the scene, when this guy comes up to this really attractive girl sitting a few stools away from me," says Dave, 31. "Rather loudly, he says, 'would you go home with me right now if I showed you a cock that hung below my knees?' He then rolled up his pant leg to show a tattoo on his leg of a rooster hung in a noose."
Dave said the ploy worked because they left together. Another novel use of a tattoo seduced Mila, 24. "Tom walked up to me and said, 'Hey beautiful, if I have your name tattooed on my arm, could I take you home and have my way with you?'
"I agreed, never thinking I'd see 'Mila' on his arm. And I didn't -- he rolled up his sleeve and revealed the words 'Your Name' on his arm," she blushed.
"I figured if he was that inventive in his approach, just imagine what he would be like in bed."
Whether employing a part of your anatomy to give your advance some extra zing or you prefer the gift of gab, here are some proven winners to help you with your inner flirt:
"I just realized this, but you look a lot like my next girlfriend (boyfriend)."
"If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together."
"If beauty were time, you'd be an eternity."
"Are those space pants? They must be, because your ass is out of this world."
"You've been a bad girl (boy). Go to my room."
"That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed."
"How about breakfast tomorrow? Should I call you...or should I nudge you?"
"Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me."
"I'm the one responsible for all those crop circles in England."
"Here I am. What are your other two wishes?"
"Playing doctor is for kids. Let's play gynecologist!"
... Nick Krewen
Courtesy of Lavalife.com
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