Penis troubles

Ben Roethlisberger, John Edwards, and Rick Pitino are all in the headlines for penis troubles. All three men are successful in their respective careers. Roethlisberger is an NFL quarterback, Pitino a college basketball coach, and Edwards is a former senator and presidential candidate. If you were to do a Google search on these names, you would get millions of hits. Let's break down each situation:

Roethlisberger is being accused of raping a girl in Nevada more than a year ago. She had a sexual encounter with him and is suing him in civil court. Allegedly, Roethlisberger raped her. But she never filed criminal charges or visited a hospital. And now a co-worker has said the "victim" was looking to get paid by Roethlisberger.

Pitino cheated on his wife and had sex with a woman in a restaurant. She also got pregnant and had an abortion. She then tried to extort $10 million from him. Instead of getting money, she will end up in court facing extortion charges. 

Edwards also cheated on his wife. Even worse, he impregnated his mistress. Paternity for Frances Quinn Hunter has been established. Edwards' is the father. Too bad Edwards didn’t establish paternity on the Maury Povich show. Couldn’t you just imagine Maury announcing, “John Edwards, you are the baby’s daddy.” 

Men, this proves the more money you have, the more the media wants to know about your penis.

And before you start judging these guys, keep in mind that beautiful women will sleep with a man with money. If you’re a famous athlete, politician, or a rock star, someone will want to have your baby. For example, Mick Jagger had a child with a model in her 20s a few years ago. Would she have given him any loving if 

he worked at Walmart? Probably not. 

It's great being an average Joe. If you work at Wendy’s or Walmart, no one is blogging about your junk. I’m glad to be an average guy because no one is writing any stories about me. And if they did, no one would care.