The value of chemistry

Main Entry: chem·is·try 

Pronunciation: 'ke-m&-strE 

Function: noun 

Inflected Form(s): plural -tries 

Date: 1646 

1 : a strong mutual attraction, attachment, or sympathy 

Do you question chemistry and its value to a potential relationship? Do you believe you cannot have a successful long term relationship with a person without chemistry? 

Many of us ask these questions; we want to know what it is about this dynamic so powerful and important to achieving our goals. We post our personal ads in hope we might attract the love of our life. 

We may have to kiss many frogs before finally finding a real prince(ss). Online dating is the ticket to a never ending supply of dating opportunities. Online dating makes this clear; we pick through personal ads while seeking out available options from this venue. 

Ultimately, chemistry is the one thing making people respond to our ads. People select profiles with potential chemistry.

While you might feel a strong synergy while reading a personal ad, the bottom line to knowing if you are romantically cohesive boils down to a face-to-face meeting. 

We usually know within seconds of meeting someone, if we are romantically and/or sexually attracted. Personally, I can't be romantically involved with someone with whom my energy is not in sync. The initial face-to-face contact is what generates this chemistry (no matter what has transpired beforehand) and is what propels us to or against us wanting to share more time with this person. This meeting will also determine if there is potential for a real romance.

Although a potential suitor may meet our criteria; without a magical connection, there will be no relationship.

How many times have you heard, "We just don't have any chemistry." Often, its only one sided where only one person is interested. What is it about chemistry making it so illusive? And, we all know, it has nothing to do with looks, material well-being, or many other things we state in our ads to attract Mr. or Ms. Right! 

We each have a certain "look" we are naturally attracted to. If someone don't pass the acid test of chemical attraction, they are rejected. 

Furthermore, there are so many other deal breakers. What if he wears an aftershave or cologne that reminds you of someone who hurt you in the past? Or, what if she has an embarrassing obnoxious laugh? or if they have a nervous twitch? All of these things can become a factor when determining basic attraction. 

Personally, going with my initial gut instinct is usually best. So what do you do if you find a person who matches all of your criteria, but you don't feel any chemistry? Simple, move onto the next person. If you don't find someone who makes you feel "special," what is the point? 

Initial instincts about a person are the best universal gift. If rejected by someone because there is no chemistry, thank the gods because they weren't meant for you! 

Too many times we create a scenario of perfection before we even meet face to face. Chatting online, on the phone, or seeing someone on a web cam can bring things into perspective, but this "nebulous zone" as I have called it, gets us into serious trouble; not to mention the pain caused to the other person after meeting. There is no chemistry and we have to back peddle or lie t0 get out of what we thought was going to be a torrid romance. 

We must offer a disclaimer that our in person meeting will be the determining factor, so we offer an "out," in case chemistry isn't conducive. 

The flip side of this chemistry thing is also an enigma. Just because you find someone with chemistry, does not mean you can live out a long-term relationship in harmony and bliss! People on personal ads sites have typically experienced one or more failed relationships and are seeking their last hurrah. These people are aware of this "chemistry" dynamic. 

So how long into the relationship does the chemistry factor remain criteria for maintaining a romance? 

I offer my solution; chemistry is a gauge for our psyches to give us necessary signals in our hearts to go forward with a person if other criteria is met. Use chemistry as a gauge to help you determine whether or not to give your heart to a chosen one. You will appreciate the power and necessity of chemistry as being a valuable dynamic to determine and maintain romantic success.

Once we have made the choice to love someone, we can embellish this. When you are attuned to another person's energy chemically, your brain emits a chemical like serotonin, which boosts your feeling of well-being. When you find someone who can produce this feeling, you will glow with joy.

Written by…WiseWoman

Courtesy of http://www.sexyads.com