Moving on from a bad relationship

I recently read an article about relationship issues between celebrities Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards. Just a few years ago, they were so in love, she even appeared on an episode of Sheen’s “Two and a Half Men” TV sitcom. Smiles and hugs are long gone and have been replaced with anger and tension. Their verbal battles have become tabloid fodder for anyone who cares to read about it.

This story reminded me of a former co-worker who has since retired. When it came to her job, Kathy knew her position inside and out. She was always pleasant and courteous except when it came to Bob, her ex-husband. They were married for many years and had a son. As far as she knew, everything was fine in their marriage.

This all changed when Bob came home and dropped a bomb on Kathy. Bob was leaving in his new convertible and taking his much younger girlfriend with him. Kathy described the sordid details as if it happened yesterday. I found out she had been divorced for over 15 years and had remained bitter and lonely. She just couldn’t let Bob go.

When discussing Bob, Kathy gets angry and her voice raises an octave. I found this disturbing for someone to hold in their anger for so many years. Another co-worker told me that Kathy will discuss Bob with anyone who will listen. Apparently, everyone has heard about Bob and his affair.

Most of us have been in terrible relationships at some point in our life. We probably can even look back and wonder what we were thinking. Fortunately, most of us let go and moved on with our lives.

Holding onto the past isn’t good because it can affect your future. For example, you won’t be able to succeed in a new relationship without burying the previous one. Health issues such as: stress, depression, and anger can also play a part in the misery of a bad breakup.

It can be hard to let go of someone you once loved and cherished. It’s even worse if there is a child in the equation. This means that you may still see your ex through events surrounding your children. This may force you to re-live the bad relationship over and over again. Instead of toiling away in the past, look for new interests.

Here are some ideas for moving on: develop a hobby, spend time with family or friends, or consider getting back into the dating game. Failing in a relationship isn’t a crime, quitting on your life is.