Teenage suicide: The decision to end it all

My older son always tells me about the complications of being a teenager. I respond by telling him that being the parent of a teenager is more complicated. He acts as if I have always been old and forgets that I was once a fun-loving teenager.

The parents of any teenager know that teens can be moody, angry, spiteful, and bitter. Although they can be difficult, it's still better to live with them than without them. 

Our local newspaper recently reported the tragedy of a local teenage girl who chose to end her own life. By looking at her photograph, you would never be able to tell she once teetered on the edge of life and death. Her picture depicted a carefree teenager with blonde hair and a large smile. 

It's probably the same look you get from your own children when you watch them open their gifts on Christmas morning. 

The tragedy began with a boyfriend circulating nude photos of her around her high school. Instead of compassion from her peers, she was met with disdain. The alienation from her peers was enough for her to make an irreversible decision. Unfortunately, the only comfort her family has is her memory and knowing why their child committed suicide. 

So what's worse than knowing why your child ended their life? Not knowing. 

Two years ago, my son's football teammate was a senior with everything to live for until he decided to hang himself. The young man died without leaving a note or mentioning suicide to anyone. 

To this day, no one knows why this young man ended his life. His parents and friends will have to live with many unanswered questions.

Many years ago, I experienced the suicide of a childhood friend. My friend and I attended the same high school and worked together at the same restaurant. I came to work one day and learned that he had shot himself. 

I later found out that he and his wife were in the midst of a divorce and custody battle. The thought of life without his wife and child was more than he could handle. 

Although my friend wasn't a teenager, he was still a young man in his early 20s with everything to live for.

Survivors never understand why anyone takes their own life. We just know that everyone has a different threshold for pain. Some handle life's worst better than others. 

Teenage suicide has always been a problem in our society. For them, being accepted among their peers is more important than life itself. They believe this acceptance gives their life meaning. If only they would have lived a few more years they would realize:

• Teen years are the shortest years of your life;

• Bad friendships and relationships will be replaced with good ones; 

• Broken hearts mend and disappointments fade; 

• Acceptance among peers means less as we get older; and

• Life is a gift that gets better with age

…If they only knew. 

I sometimes reflect on some of the worst moments of my own life. There were times when I thought things would never improve. I am glad I was able to face these moments and live long enough to get past them. 

I tell my teenage son to enjoy his life and don't try to be an adult too soon because it's no fun being an adult. 

Adults have to work, pay bills, and deal with teenagers. 

My wife and I have told both of our sons to talk to us if they ever feel like ending it all. Discussing suicide can be uncomfortable but it is a necessary conversation parents must have with their children. It’s a chance to let them know that mom and dad always have their back no matter who else doesn’t.

We have reassured our sons that their worst days are behind them while their best days are still ahead.