For many years, there have been numerous sightings involving Bigfoot, the Lochness Monster and Mr. Right. Until these creatures are captured, they will continue to remain in the annals of folklore.
Of the three, Mr. Right may be the only one that actually exists. Of course this depends on who you ask. Some women will swear they have never met this elusive male figure while others claim to have already married him.
In addition to being referred to as Mr. Right, he may also be known as Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Great Guy or Mr. Perfect. When meeting Mr. Right, proceed with caution because you may have actually met a distant relative or an impersonator. Without further ado, here is Mr. Right's family tree:
Mr. Yes-Mother: This mama's boy always does what his mother says. She is his queen and he dares not challenge her. After the umbilical cord was removed, it was replaced with an apron string. If your guy puts his mother before you, don't walk to the nearest exit...run to it!
Mr. Once the Ex-wife leaves: Watch out for this character. He is trying to have his cake and eat yours too. He will either tell you that his wife doesn't understand him or that he is working on his divorce. He may even tell you they are sleeping in separate beds. Unless you ditch this lothario, you will always be his runner up. Believe him when he tells you she doesn't understand him...she gets him, that's why she's leaving.
Mr. Halfsies: You may know this cheapskate; he believes in splitting everything right down the middle. He will study the dinner check with a microscope and ask for your share of the check. If you go to the grocery store together, he may even request a reimbursement for the Snapple you just drank. If you hook up with this guy, be prepared to learn the meaning of "going Dutch."
Mr. Fear of Commitment: He has a strong resemblance to Mr. Right until you ask him for a commitment. This is the fun guy that's always there for the next party. He does tricks and is entertaining until you mention marriage, monogamy or children. These words will sound like the plague to him and send him looking for Bigfoot.
Mr. Needs Friends: This guy has more friends than Barney the Dinosaur. He may get together with them to watch sports, visit the strip clubs or go to the gym. This is because his friends are the center of his life. If you try to break up his friendships, you may end up as the odd woman out. If your man has a lot of friends, you may have to force yourself into the group or find another guy to love.
Mr. Between jobs: This is one of the worst impersonators. He is a chronic unemployable and never seems to have money for a dinner check or a movie. What's odd is how he always has money for beer and cigarettes. This moocher always has a reason for being unable to get to his wallet. If his hand isn't broken, it's something else. He uses sympathy as a ploy to lure in some unsuspecting woman that feels the need to mother a grown man. I have seen women drop a few intelligence points after hooking up with this loser.
This is a small sample of the guys you may encounter before meeting Prince Charming. Unfortunately, every one of these men exists because I have met each one of them.
Ladies, it's all about having pride and confidence and refusing to accept less than the best. I commend strong women who know what they want in a man and go out and find it. When meeting a new guy, make sure you get to know him well before making a permanent commitment. Take your time when deciding if he's either Romeo or Genghis Khan.
If you end up with Mr. Wrong, he could become that guy who spends every other weekend with your children.
He's the guy your kids will call dad.
Of the three, Mr. Right may be the only one that actually exists. Of course this depends on who you ask. Some women will swear they have never met this elusive male figure while others claim to have already married him.
In addition to being referred to as Mr. Right, he may also be known as Mr. Wonderful, Mr. Great Guy or Mr. Perfect. When meeting Mr. Right, proceed with caution because you may have actually met a distant relative or an impersonator. Without further ado, here is Mr. Right's family tree:
Mr. Yes-Mother: This mama's boy always does what his mother says. She is his queen and he dares not challenge her. After the umbilical cord was removed, it was replaced with an apron string. If your guy puts his mother before you, don't walk to the nearest exit...run to it!
Mr. Once the Ex-wife leaves: Watch out for this character. He is trying to have his cake and eat yours too. He will either tell you that his wife doesn't understand him or that he is working on his divorce. He may even tell you they are sleeping in separate beds. Unless you ditch this lothario, you will always be his runner up. Believe him when he tells you she doesn't understand him...she gets him, that's why she's leaving.
Mr. Halfsies: You may know this cheapskate; he believes in splitting everything right down the middle. He will study the dinner check with a microscope and ask for your share of the check. If you go to the grocery store together, he may even request a reimbursement for the Snapple you just drank. If you hook up with this guy, be prepared to learn the meaning of "going Dutch."
Mr. Fear of Commitment: He has a strong resemblance to Mr. Right until you ask him for a commitment. This is the fun guy that's always there for the next party. He does tricks and is entertaining until you mention marriage, monogamy or children. These words will sound like the plague to him and send him looking for Bigfoot.
Mr. Needs Friends: This guy has more friends than Barney the Dinosaur. He may get together with them to watch sports, visit the strip clubs or go to the gym. This is because his friends are the center of his life. If you try to break up his friendships, you may end up as the odd woman out. If your man has a lot of friends, you may have to force yourself into the group or find another guy to love.
Mr. Between jobs: This is one of the worst impersonators. He is a chronic unemployable and never seems to have money for a dinner check or a movie. What's odd is how he always has money for beer and cigarettes. This moocher always has a reason for being unable to get to his wallet. If his hand isn't broken, it's something else. He uses sympathy as a ploy to lure in some unsuspecting woman that feels the need to mother a grown man. I have seen women drop a few intelligence points after hooking up with this loser.
This is a small sample of the guys you may encounter before meeting Prince Charming. Unfortunately, every one of these men exists because I have met each one of them.
Ladies, it's all about having pride and confidence and refusing to accept less than the best. I commend strong women who know what they want in a man and go out and find it. When meeting a new guy, make sure you get to know him well before making a permanent commitment. Take your time when deciding if he's either Romeo or Genghis Khan.
If you end up with Mr. Wrong, he could become that guy who spends every other weekend with your children.
He's the guy your kids will call dad.
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