Who's too old for sex?

What’s worse than thoughts of your parents having sex? How about your grandparents doing the nasty in a local nursing home?

I realize the thought may send shivers down your spine, but it’s a subject that has become a blip on the radar screen of Kansas State University.

They are addressing a need for nursing home residents to have sexual intimacy.

Many people assume that when people get older, the desire for intimacy is snuffed out like a candle.

This couldn’t be more farther from the truth.

Do the names Tony Randall or James Doohan ring a bell? You may remember these elderly gentleman as Scotty from Star Trek or Felix from the Odd Couple series. Both gentleman fathered children while in their 70s.

Past research has proven that men and women continue engaging in sexual intercourse well into their 70s and 80s.

Kansas State University researchers would like to make the subject of elderly sexuality less taboo by educating nursing home staff to provide accommodations for residents to satisfy their sexual needs in privacy.

One of the goals for the research is to bring the subject to a federal guideline level by addressing the subject in a positive way.

The research project was presented in October at the American Association of Homes and Services for the Aging conference.

Kansas State researchers got mixed reactions from staff after conducting their elderly sexuality workshop. Some staff members considered the education useful and that resident sexual needs should be addressed.

Other staff members didn’t believe sexual intimacy among elderly residents was an issue worth addressing.

The training also brought other issues into the open. Safety concerns are a major topic. For example, the spreading of HIV and other STDs need to be considered.

Also, children may express concerns about relationships developing between their parents and other residents which could affect families and inheritances.

The ability to consent is another major issue. Patients with Alzheimer’s or dementia may not be able to consent to a sexual advance from another resident.

Although sexual liaisons in a nursing home aren’t a topic most of us have ever considered, maybe we should?

There are many married couples that will eventually move into a nursing facility. These people could be your parents or grandparents. We should never assume that their internal fires have gone out because of their age. With modern science, some of these passions can be prolonged with products like Viagra.

Regardless of age, we love our partners and still enjoy intimacy. It’s part of being human.

Couples who live in nursing homes shouldn’t be deprived of being human because they live in a nursing home.

Affording these couples some privacy without embarrassing them should be considered.

To quote one of my elderly friends about his equipment, “It may be old and dusty, but it still works.”