Are you too dumb to use a toaster?

 

I saw the instruction manual for our toaster lying on the counter. Curious, I wondered how many possible instructions could be needed for making toast. 

I was surprised to discover several warnings. I realize that we are in a lawsuit happy nation but the instructions were ridiculous. Based on what I read, I am assuming that we live in a nation with people who lack common sense. 

Several years ago, a woman burned her mouth while drinking a McDonald’s cup of coffee. She filed a lawsuit against them because there was no warning label to let her know the coffee was hot. Although she could feel the cup was hot, her brain didn’t transfer the same signal to her mouth. 

The ridiculous lawsuit led to absurd warning signs and ridiculous instructions manuals. So going back to the toaster, here are a few things you need to know about making toast:

• Never stick a fork in a toaster while it is plugged in. I assume electrocution could play a part in this.
• Don’t touch hot surfaces on toaster. It’s true, hot toasters will burn your fingers.
•  Don’t operate a toaster submerged in liquids. So if you make toast, just remember not to take a shower while doing so or make it in a sink full of water. Not only could you be electrocuted, your toast will be soggy.
• When toast is completed, use the lever to lift the toast up. Is that what the lever is for? I didn’t know. I always thought you removed the toast with a fork.
• Toaster is for indoor use only. No kidding? Do they make toasters specific for outdoor use? I can’t remember the last time I had toast on a camping trip. Maybe it’s because there was no place to plug it in and I have never seen a battery operated toaster for outdoor use.

Do you know what’s troubling about these safety precautions? Someone has most likely either been killed or injured after not properly using a toaster. That’s also the same reason why McDonald’s coffee now has a warning on the lid stating that the coffee is hot.

Hopefully I won’t forget to remove the windshield heat visor from my window when I drive home today.

According to the back of the visor, it says I should remove it before attempting to drive.