Ending a relationship isn’t always the easiest thing to do. Most of us have experienced a breakup sometime in our life. When I was dating (100 years ago), your only option for losing an unwanted partner was to either tell them in person or through the infamous “Dear John” or “Dear Jane” letter. The “Dear John/Jane” letter is a considerate way of ending a relationship with a partner. Its use dates back to the ink quill pen and stone tablets.
With today’s technology, there are now many different options for breaking up. Lovers can now break up with an email or a cell phone call.
A “Dear John/Jane” letter may be the best choice because it gives you the option of writing a detailed explanation from a safe distance. It also shows you are willing to take a few minutes of your life to put some thought behind your decision. I would like to offer some tips on how to write a breakup letter:
1. Write a handwritten or typed letter. If you handwrite it, avoid using a crayon or a marker or writing on the back of a paper bag. Try to keep it neat and to the point.
2. Make your letter constructive, not destructive.
3. Let them know this is your final decision and you would like an amicable split; let them know you don’t want to enter into additional discussion about the relationship.
4. Don’t tell them you want to remain friends. This can make the process even more difficult for the other person. If you break up but continue spending time together, the signals may be mixed or false hope may be given.
5. Don’t use the word 'love” in your signature tag, use your name only.
6. Avoid the blame game; don’t place the entire breakup on their shoulders…or your own. Simply state that you don’t see a future for the relationship and it’s best you both move on with your lives.
7. Before sending the letter, review it and insure the relationship is truly over and sleep on it before adding the postage stamp.
8. Avoid using profanity and name calling.
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