Why men fly solo

Carl Weisman, author of "So Why Have You Never Been Married? - Ten Insights into Why He Hasn't Wed," surveyed 1,533 heterosexual men to research his book describing why so many men prefer to remain single. Weisman also wanted to give women insight as to why so many good men have chosen a life of bachelorhood over wedded bliss; Weisman also wants to help men understand why they still fly solo. 

Weisman’s conclusion? Here it is, drum roll please…

Plain and simple, most men have a fear of being in a bad marriage.

"Men are 10 times more scared of marrying the wrong person than of never getting married at all," says Weismsan.

"This is the first generation of people who have grown up with bad divorces. People assume there is something wrong if you don't marry but these are men who have made a different choice and not given in to social pressures."

U.S. statistics show in 1980, about 6 percent of men aged in their early 40s had never married but this number had now risen to 17 percent, according to Weisman.

Weisman said his research disregards the belief that single men were unhappy. "A compelling issue was how many of them had found contentment in a never-married life," he says. "They had created lives full of careers, friends and ambitions. It was not like they walk around all day worried about not being married."

I have heard women talk about their commitment phobia minded men. I have even heard stories about them giving him an ultimatum. “Marry me or I walk,” is a common theme shared among those waiting for a wedding ring. Ladies, I have a question for you, do you really want to be with a guy you forced into a marriage? Shouldn’t he initiate the marriage because he loves you? Use the dating game to learn about your partner. Do you really want to be with this person forever?

Marriage can either be similar to a winning lottery ticket or jumping into a shark infested ocean. The wrong marriage can lead to misery and suffering while a great marriage can provide many years of happiness. 

When I was single, I dated many different women. I didn’t marry too early because I feared marrying the wrong person. Fortunately, I made the right choice as I have been with my wife for over 13 years. So I can confirm Weisman’s study regarding my own life and I feel like a better person for making the right decision.